I Like To Move It, Move It - Madagascar

Собственно исполняется Сашей Коэном Бароном и при этом он со свойственным ему талантом пародирует индийский акцент и склерозного, но озабоченного моралиста.
Этот клип выбран мной исключительно из того же принципа, как и предыдущий "электроторпедный"- тут есть субтитры.
I hope you'll be satisfied

В пилотской кабине (из серии- как доставать людей?)

http://www.youtube.com

- Примером, как доставать людей может послужить история о том, как две блондинки впервые посетили нудисткий пляж, где одна из них внезапно заметила... (внезапно пропадает звук)

-...(внезапное восстановление звука) Я не подозревала, что он так играет на скрипке.

А вот эта история полностью показывает, как можно доставать людей техническими средствами...

Кабина самолёта. Пилоты явно скучают

- А угадай-ка- угадай что я вижу на букву ..."Н"?

- Небо. А угадай-ка-угадай, что я вижу на букву "О"?

- Облака.

- Боже, ну и скукотища...

- Меня уже тошнит от всего этого... Cыграем в нечто иное!

- Во что?

Его собеседник берёт в руки микрофон

- Внимание, это командир экипажа говорит! Абсолютно неь никаких причин для паники!

(Возвращая микрофон) Пусть пофантазируют... (Видя, что второй пилот тянется к микрофону) Нет-нет, не сейчас... (Задумываясь) А каких нет причин для паники? (Берёт снова микрофон) Никакого пламени на крыльях нет! (Возвращая микрофон) Теперь они думают "А за каким хреном они это объявляют?" А мы объявляем...

Входит стюард

- Как дела?

- (Заговорщески) Они перестали жевать... Слегка встревожены...

- Это хорошо...

-Погодите! Вот один пошёл в туалет!

- (С энтузиазмом) Он уже там?

- Ещё не-ет, нет... Вошёл!

Командир начинает отсчёт

- Три...Два... РАЗ!

Второй пилот срывает микрофон

- Немедленно вернитесь к своим местам и пристегнитесь!

- Во-во летит, недозастегнувшись. Прям как на крыльях... Ну, хорошо, я пойду пройдусь с обеспокоенным видом...

Стюард выходит

- Правила? Правила безопасности?

Командир соглашается

- (В микрофон) Разрешите мне напомнить вам некоторые правила безопасности.

В случае опасности необходимо...

Командир иммитирует помехи на линии

...как только вы услышите звук аварийной сигнализации.

Командир иммитирует звук, второй пилот бросает микрофон и они смеются...

- Пущай почешутся!

Врывается восторженный стюард

- Здорово!

Выходит с обеспокоенным видом

- Так! У меня идея! (Берёт микрофон) Вы сможете найти спасательные жилеты под вашими сидениями

-Нет же! Они хранятся...

- Ничего, пусть посуетятся.... ( Это вызывает смех у копилота. В микрофон) О, извините, вы сможете достать жилеты с полок над вашими головами...

- ...Но ни в коем случае не отстёгивайте ремней сидений!

- Великолепно! (Это снова стюард примчался) Просто шикарно!!

- Погнали абракадабру!

- Внимание! Скрансоны над вашей головой готовы к гребле! Отстегнитесь и нажмите на фотоскам над вашей головой за вашими сиденями!

- Шикарно! Они там все перекрутились (Это cтюард докладывает, выглядывая в салон)

- ...Кто-нибудь! Отсоедините аварийный сприл в кормовом туалете

- ...Но не отстегивайте ремни!

- ...Отстегните ремни!

- ...Аварийный сприл ДОЛЖЕН быть отключён!

-...Не покидайте ваших мест!

- ...Не паникуйте!

- ...Чай сейчас будет подан!

- ...Наденьте спасательные жилеты!

- ...Погасите сигареты!

- ...Снимите ваш багаж с полок над вашей головой и поместите его на противоположные полки!

- ...За исключением ручной клади!

- ...На которую вам надлежит сесть!

Заходятся в смехе

Стюард (Отсмеявшись, с удивлением) Постойте!

-...(Всё ещё смеясь) Чё там?

- ...Постойте!

- ...Ну чё там?

-Они все сиганули из самлёта!

Новый взрыв хохота

Командир (Последним закончив смеяться, задумчиво) Странно, если после этого ни у кого не будет проблем.

Новый взрыв хохота

The Airline Pilots Sketch ------------------------- by John Cleese & Graham Chapman Transcribed from the video: "John Cleese on How To Irritate People"

The Cast Captain: John Cleese

First Officer: Graham Chapman

Steward: Michael Palin

(The sketch opens in an aeroplane cockpit. The Captain and the First Officer are whistling idly. They are obviously very bored.)

C: I spy with my little eye something beginning with S.

FO: Sky.

C: Mm-hm. FO I spy with my little eye something beginning with C.

C: Cloud.

FO: Yeah. Oh God, I'm bored.

C: I'm fed up with that game. Let's play another game. I know what..

FO: What? (The Captain picks up a microphone.)

C: (over intercom) "Hello, this is your Captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm." That'll get them thinking.

(The First Officer reaches for the microphone.)

C: No, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet. Let it sink in. They'll be thinking, er, 'What is there no cause for alarm about? Are the wings on fire?' (over intercom) "The wings are not on fire." Now they're thinking, er, 'why should he say that?' So we say...

(The Steward enters.)

FO: Oh, how are we doing?

S: (looks down the aisle) They've stopped eating; Looking a bit worried...

C: Good.
S: Hang on, one of them is going to the washroom.

C: Is he there yet?

S: He's just closing the door... NOW!

C: One... Two... Three..

FO: (over intercom) "Please return to your seats and fasten your safety-belts immediately."

S: Yes... here he comes, going up the aisle like the clappers. I'll do the worried walk now. (He leaves.)

FO: Right. Safety regulations.

C: (agreeing) Safety regulations.

FO: (over intercom) "Please listen carefully. I want you, I want to remind you of some of the safety regulations. In the case of emergency it is vitally important to..." (The Captain makes a radio-static type noise.)

FO: "as the warning buzzer sounds."

C: "Bzzzz"

(They both laugh.)

C: Oh, that's got them rattled.

S: (enters) Great, great! (exit)

C: Hey, I've got an idea! "Hello, you will find your life-jackets under your seats."

FO: No, they're on the racks.

C: Sh, shh, let them scrabble a bit. "I'm sorry, you will find them on the racks above your heads. But do not unfasten your safety belts."

FO: Aaah!

S: (back again) Great, great, that was marvellous!

FO: Right. Gobbledegook.

C: Oh, yes.

FO "The scransons above your heads are now ready to flange. Please unfasten your safety belts and press the emergency photoscamps on the back of the seats behind you."

S: (looks out) Marvellous, milling about, climbing over the seats.

FO: "Please find the emergency sprill in the washroom at the back and release it..."

C: "but do not unfasten your safety belts."

S: That got them back to their seats.

FO: "The emergency sprill MUST be released..."

C: "but do not leave your seats."

FO: "Do not panic."

C: "Tea will now be served."
FO: "Inflate your life-jackets"

C: "and extinguish all cigarettes."

FO: "Please remove the luggage from the racks above your heads and place it on the racks on the other side of the aircraft."

C: "Except for hand luggage..."

FO: "which you should sit on."

(They are in fits of laughter.)

C: Now have a look.

S: (looks) Hang on... hang on... they've all jumped out!

(They laugh, pointing downwards and looking out of the windows. After a while the laughter dies away. There is a lengthy pause.)

C: You know, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some trouble about this.

(They burst out laughing again. The sketch ends.) -

Свежие чувства от "Электроторпед"

Хоть это и не столь забавное, но для изучающих язык вполне подойдёт

В обсуждениях на You-Tube некто высказал мысль, что Pain не Pain, а Paint и я с ним полностью согласен. Также я считаю, что автор клипа перестарался с that, заменяя им определённые артикли в припеве.

Пауза о героях (классика)

Папа и Микеланджело

- Ваше высокопреосвященство, к вам- Микеланджелло...
- Михайло...кто?
- (Тоном эскурсовода) Микеланджелло, знаменитый художник Ренессанса, известный такими своими творениями, как статуя Давида и фресками в храме Сикстинской Мадонны.

В 1515 г он, вернувшись во Флоренцию, ...

- ...Да достаточно- понял я, понял. Вы свободны!...

- Добрый вечер, ваше высокопреосвященство.

- Добрый вечер, Михаил. Мне надо переговорить насчёт твоей последней картины- насчёт "Тайной Вечери".

- А ...ну и что?

- Я- не в восторге!

- О боже... Это вы насчёт нехватки дынь на столе?

- Я- от всего не восторге!

- Может вам не понравилась флейта?

- Нет!!

- Ничего прибавлю чуток краски... А понял-вам кенгуру не понравились!

- Какое кенгуру?!

- Да на заднем фоне. Ничего страшного, я их закрашу или перекрашу в апостолов.

- Вот-вот: именно это мне и не нравится!

- Что?

- Апостолы!

- Что, у них слишком жидовский вид? Особенно у Иуды?

- Нет, просто их там двадцать восемь.

- Ничего особенного, я перекрашу ещё пару кенгуру в апостолов.

- Да не в этом дело!

- Да бог с ними, с кенгуру-то, они у меня все равно особо и не получаются...

- ...Дело в том, что двадцать восемь апостолов.

- Чересчур?

- Ну конечно же!

- Ну, знаете, я хотел создать настоящую Тайную Вечерю, а не просто посиделки убить время, тайно состыкнуться и зажилить жрачку под одеялом... Словом- гулять, так гулять!

- ...На Тайной Вечере было только двенадцать апостолов!

- А может они с друзьями пришли?

- Нет их было на Той Вечере только двенадцать и сам Господь!! В Библии об этом написано четко и недвусмысленно!

- Официанты?

- Нет!

- Девочки?

- Нет, только 12 апостолов и сам...!

- ...А! Я понял! Назовём её "Предыдущая Тайная Вечеря"!

- ...Чего?

- Ну были же другие тайные ужины при свечах! Библия регламентирует тамошнее число участников?

- Словом так! Мы не празднуем никакие предыдущие вечери в отличие от Этой!!! Будь там даже оркестр из женского монастыря! Я- заказчик и я знаю, что мне нужно! Только эту, где было двенадцать апостолов и один Христос!

- (С возмущением) Один?!!!

- Да! Только один!!! А теперь ради самого имени Его объясни, что делают у тебя на картине три Иисуса Христа?!

- Да, но это неплохо смотриться, мужик- пара тощих по бокам оттеняет центрального толстяка!

- Есть только один Спаситель!

- Да знаем мы... А как насчёт творческого подхода и артистического воображения?

- Мне нужен только один Спаситель!...

- ...А я скажу, кто тебе нужен, мужик! Траханный фотограф!...

- (Спрыгивая с трона и чуть ли не засучивая рукава, наступая на Микельанджелло)...Я скажу, что мне нужно! Мне нужно Тайная Вечеря только с двенадцатью апостолами, только с одимн Иисусом, никаких кенгуру и прочих педиков- иначе нихрена ты не получишь за малевание!

- Траханный фашист!

- Да уж во всяком случае не обтраханный папа! Знаю ли я о творческом подходе или нет- достаточно, что я знаю о том, что мне нужно!

Michelangelo from Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl. Enjoy.

Gustaf Sjöbloms and Björn Wingmans Script:

Michelangelo

Renaissance Choir:

[Gregorian Chant]

Servant:

A Michelangelo to see you, your Holiness.

Pope:

Who?

Servant:

Michelangelo, the famous renaissance artist whose best known works include the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the celebrated statue of David.

Pope:

Ah. Very well...

Servant:

In 1514 he returned to Florence and de...

Pope:

All right, that's enough, that's enough, they've got it now!

Servant:

Oh.

Michelangelo:

Good evening, your Holiness.

Pope:

Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, "The Last Supper."

Michelangelo:

Oh, yeah?

Pope:

I'm not happy about it.

Michelangelo:

Oh, dear. It took me hours.

Pope:

Not happy at all.

Michelangelo:

Is it the jello you don't like?

Pope:

No.

Michelangelo:

Ah, no, I know, they do have a bit of colour, don't they? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo?

Pope:

What kangaroo?

Michelangelo:

No problem, I'll paint him out.

Pope:

I never saw a kangaroo!

Michelangelo:

Uuh...he's right in the back. I'll paint him out! No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.

Pope:

Aah.

Michelangelo:

All right?

Pope:

That's the problem.

Michelangelo:

What is?

Pope:

The disciples.

Michelangelo:

Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.

Pope:

No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them.

Michelangelo:

Oh, well, another one will never matter, I'll make the kangaroo into another one.

Pope:

No, that's not the point.

Michelangelo:

All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.

Pope:

That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples!

Michelangelo:

Too many?

Pope:

Well, of course it's too many!

Michelangelo:

Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last supper. You know, not just any old last supper. Not like a last meal or a final snack. But you

know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?

Pope:

There were only twelve disciples at the last supper.

Michelangelo:

Well, maybe some of the others came along afterw...

Pope:

There were only twelve altogether.

Michelangelo:

Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?

Pope:

Look! There were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.

Michelangelo:

No friends?

Pope:

No friends.

Michelangelo:

Waiters?

Pope:

No.

Michelangelo:

Cabaret?

Pope:

No!

Michelangelo:

You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could...

Pope:

Look! There were only twelve disciples at...

Michelangelo:

I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"!

Pope:

What?

Michelangelo:

Well there must have been one, if there was a last supper there must have been a one before that, so this, is the "Penultimate Supper"! The Bible doesn't say how

many people were there, does it?

Pope:

No, but...

Michelangelo:

Well there you are, then!

Pope:

Look! The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not! Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band. Now, a last

supper I commissioned from you, and a last supper I want! With twelve disciples and one Christ!

Michelangelo:

One?!

Pope:

Yes one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it?

Michelangelo:

It works, mate!

Pope:

Works?

Michelangelo:

Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones.

Pope:

There was only one Redeemer!

Michelangelo:

Ah, I know that, we all know that, what about a bit of artistic license?

Pope:

A one Messiah is what I want!

Michelangelo:

I'll tell you what you want, mate! You want a bloody photographer! That's you want. Not a bloody creative artist to crease you up...

Pope:

I'll tell you what I want! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!

Michelangelo:

Bloody fascist!

Pope

Look! I'm the bloody pope, I am! May not know much about art, but I know what I like!

Для продвинутых пользователей в изучении английского: comments to script of the blazing saddles

1

Blazing Saddles

(Comedy) ( 1973)

© 2000 by Raymond Weschler

Major Characters

Bart………………………………………Clevon Little

A black railroad worker in the 1870s who is appointed sheriff

(head police officer) of the town of Rock Ridge, Oklahoma.

Jim (“The Waco Kid”)…………Gene Wilder

A famous gunslinger (shooter) of the American West, who Bart

finds in his jail as a sorry but loveable drunk man.

Hedley Lamar…………………….Harvey Korman

The corrupt Attorney General of the state who wants to find a way

to scare the people of Rock Ridge from their homes so that he can take

the land (An Attorney General is the most important law enforcement

official in the federal or state government). Hedley is most frustrated by

the fact that people call him “Hedy,” like the famous 20th century actor.

Taggert…………………………………Slim Pickens

A really stupid cowboy- superviser who tries to help Hedley with his evil plans.

Lyle……………………………………….Burton Gillian

An even stupider cowboy who works for Taggert.

Mongo………………………………….Alex Karras

A mentally retarded but extremely sweet and strong man who works

with Taggert and Lyle, but later decides to help Bart and Jim.

Governor Le Petomane………..Mel Brooks

The corrupt and stupid Governor of the state

(A governor is a state’s top political leader).

Lili Von Shtupp……………………Madeleine Kahn

A very sexy German nightclub singer who agrees to help Hedley

eliminate Bart from Rock Ridge.

In Rock Ridge, it seems every person belongs to the Johnson family.

Among the most notable family members are:

Olson Johnson (The family leader)…………………..David Huddleston

Howard Johnson (The family philosopher)….….John Hileman

Reverend Johnson (The family minister)……..…Liam Dunn

Gabriel Johnson (The local бомж)...................

etc.

Plot Summary

2

Ultimately, Blazing Saddles is a very funny comedy about American racism.

The story takes place in 1874, as a railroad is being built across the American

West, near the town of Rock Ridge. This town is probably in the territory of

Oklahoma, which later became a state. When Hedley Lamar finds out that the

railroad will go through Rock Ridge, he tries to find a way to scare all the people

from their homes, so that he can take control of the land. This is because land

values will certainly rise as the railroad is built.

His great plan is to send Bart to be the town sheriff since Hedley believes that

people will be so offended by the idea of a black sheriff that they will all move

away. In fact, Bart does face horrible racism when he first arrives, but little by

little, and with the help of Jim, he gains the support of the people. Soon, Hedley

is trying everything to destroy Rock Ridge, but Bart convinces the people that

they must not leave, in order to fight the evil around them…..

3

Some Words and Expressions that You May not Know

Bart gets into trouble while working on the railroad.

Blazing Saddles

The title words are worth noting. If something is “blazing,” it is hot

and burning. “Saddles” are the leather seats used for riding horses.

Song: He made his blazing saddle a torch to light the way….

A “torch” is a mass of burning material placed on top of a stick,

which is usually carried in order to give light.

Словом, парожруется пафос с факелами из сёдл в роли луча света в царстве тьмы

Come on, boys!

The most versatile phrasal verb in the English language, often meaning

the exact words that follow. Here, a way to say “work harder.”

The way you’re lollygaging around here with those

picks and shovels, you’d think it was 120 degrees.

“To lollygag” is a rarely used verb meaning to sit around lazily while

doing nothing. A “pick” is a pointed metal tool for digging.

Dock that chink a day’s pay for napping on the job.

“To dock” the pay of a worker is to refuse to pay them. A “chink” is

a ridiculous and very racist word for a Chinese person. “To nap”

is to sleep for a few minutes in order to get a rest.

When you were slaves, you sang like birds;

How about a good old nigger work song?

An extremely ugly and racist word for black people.

Song: I get no kick from champagne, and alcohol

doesn’t thrill me at all, but I get a belt out of you….

To get “a kick” out of something is to enjoy it, and “to thrill” someone is

to excite them ( “To get a belt out of” someone is similar to a kick,

but it is no longer used).

Hold it! What the hell is that shit?

“Hold it” is one way to say “stop what you’re doing.” Note that “the hell”

is added to wh questions for emotional emphasis, and that “shit” can be

used to refer to any particular thing or general situation.

Song: De camp town ladies….

Note that some people will pronounce “the” as “de”

(Not recommended!).

What in the wide world of sports is going on here?

“The Wide World of Sports” was a popular TV show in the 1970s. This

sentence is ridiculous, though people do ask “What in the world is going on

here?” when they want to add emotion to this basic question.

I hired you people to get a little track laid, not to

jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!

Note that a company “lays” railroad tracks. “Faggot” is an

ugly insult word for a homosexual, though it is often used for

comic effect, as here.

Listen dummy, the surveyors said that we may run

into some quicksand up ahead. You better check it out.

“Dummy” is a gentle way to say stupid. A “surveyor” is a person

who investigates the quality of land in an area. “Quicksand” is

very loose soil that sucks in anything that tries to cross it.

“Check it out” is another way to tell someone to investigate it.

Is the world rising?

“To rise” is to go up or ascend.

Goddang, now we are in trouble. :: They in trouble….

A ridiculous and old fashioned way to say god damn it. Note that the

verb to be is often dropped in black English dialects.

Doggoned near lost a $400 handcart.

“Doggoned” is another old-fashioned and ridiculous way to say damn.

Take it easy, Charlie, my foot’s on the rail.

A common way to say calm down.

Down that canyon, I think it’s pretty level there.

Another word for flat or even, with no part higher than the rest.

We’ll put her right down there over that ridge.

A “ridge” is a long and narrow series of peaks, such as mountain tops.

Well boys, the break is over.

In this context, a “break” is a short rest from working.

Send a wire to the main office and tell them I said “ow.”

A “wire” is a way of referring to a communications telegram.

“Ow” (rhymes with cow) is what you say when something hurts you.

4

Hedley Lamar finds out about Rock Ridge and the

railroad, and begins his plan of terrorizing the town.

Quicksand, splendid.

One of Lamar’s favorite words, meaning excellent or wonderful.

Выражается он, как добрый старинный английский интеллигент...

Be still, Taggert; My mind is aglow with whirling transient nodes of

thought….careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.

If you tell someone to “be still,” you’re telling them to not move.

“Aglow” means lit up with bright light. The rest of the sentence is

Lamar’s nonsense words describing the brilliant ideas in his head,

though you should know that “to whirl” is to spin quickly in a circle, and a

“node” is a physical connecting point. “To careen” is to move or bounce

from one place to another in an uncontrolled manner, and

a “cosmic vapor” is gas that dates back to the beginning of the universe.

Словом, выпендривается, как может...

Ditto! :: Ditto? You provincial idiot.

“Ditto” is a silly way to say that you agree with, or want to say,

exactly what was just said (it is usually written and not spoken).

A “provincial” person is one who is conservative and old-fashioned, and

often unfamiliar with the world outside their own town or province. An

“idiot” is a very common insult world for stupid.

Sorry your worship, but I’ve got two men at

home with the flu…and it’s utter chaos down here.

“To worship” a person is to respect them like a great religious leader,

but the phrase “your worship” is ridiculous and not used. “Utter

chaos” is a way of saying absolute confusion or disorganization.

Т.е. нарочито старинные обороты из средневековой речи

 с контрастированием нечто модерновым:

This one is a doozey.

A funny little slang word that refers to any

thing or person that is worth commenting on.

Clumsy fool.

A useful adjective that is used for people who often drop things or

get into accidents. It can also mean awkward.

There might be a legal precedent!

A “precedent” is action or decision in the past that can be used

to make an argument in the present. An important word in law.

Land snatching!; See snatching.

Note that when you look up one word in a dictionary, it may tell you

to “see” another word. “To snatch” is to quickly and forcefully take

something from somebody else.

Harvey versus the United States.

This is the way legal cases are described. “Versus” means against.

The only thing that stands between me

and that property is the rightful owners.

An expression referring to those who have a legal right to property.

There must be some way of scaring them off, driving

them out and getting rid of every human being alive.

“To scare off” and “drive out” people from their property is to

take actions that will force them to leave. “To get rid of” a person

is a common way of saying to eliminate or do away with them.

We’ll kill the first male born child in every household! :: Too Jewish.

A “household” is simply a house or apartment where people live

together. This is a reference to a story in the bible.

I got it!

While this often means “I understand,” in this

context it means “I know what we can do!”

We’ll go riding into town, a whooping and a whopping

every living thing that moves within an inch of its life.

“To Whoop and whop” something is a ridiculous and dated way of

saying to beat it up or attack it, while “within an inch of it’s life” means

to do it until just before death.

Except the woman folks, of course. :: You spare the women?

“To spare” a person is to save them.

No, we rape the shit out of them at the #6 dance later.

A very crude and slang way of saying to do something with brutality.

The phrase “beat the shit out of someone” is more common.

Marvelous.

Another word for great, excellent or fabulous.

6

That uppity nigger went and hit me on the head with a shovel.

“Uppity” is a colloquial word meaning arrogant or snobby.

Consider it done, stout fellow.

“Stout” is a formal word for strong or brave.

“Fellow” is a British way to say guy.

I couldn’t possibly fit him in until Monday; I’m booked solid.

“To fit” a person into your schedule is to make time for them.

To be “booked solid” is to be so busy that you have no free time.

5

We’ll make Rock Ridge think it’s a chicken that got caught in a tractor’s nuts.

A “tractor” is a truck with huge wheels that is used for pulling farm

equipment across a field. “Nuts” is a slang word for testicles (or balls),

and thus this sentence is totally ridiculous and makes no sense.

Ну да, прям-таки никакого sense...

Song: It was a town where people lived in harmony.

People who live “in harmony” live peacefully together.

Song: The town was always lively but never nasty or obscene.

“Lively” is a good way to say socially active. “Nasty” is a fun word for

sexually dirty or offensive and “obscene” is an important word that

also refers to anything that is completely offensive.

I don’t have to tell you what has been happening in our beloved town.

“Beloved” means much loved or cherished.

Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted,

people stampeded and cattle raped.

“Crops” are the foods that farmers crow, such as wheat and corn.

A store that has been “looted” has been attacked by a violent group

of people that steal everything in it. A “stampede” is a large group

of running animals, such as “cattle,” which is a plural word for cows.

Get back here, you old pious candy-assed sidewinder.

“Pious” means deeply religious. “Candy-assed sidewinder”

are nonsense words, though a “sidewinder” is a type of snake.

No sidewinder, bushwhacking, hornswoggling

cracker crocker is going to ruin my biscuit cutter.

More useless nonsense words, though you should know that “to ruin”

means to destroy and that a “biscuit” is a type of cookie or cracker.

Чьи комментарии я цитирую принадлежат тому, у кого явно чувство юмора отрегулировано на детский возраст

We’re all indebted to Gabby Johnson for

clearly stating what needed to be said.

To be “indebted” to a person is to owe them

something for having done a great service.

Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but

it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.

“Authentic” means genuine or real. “Frontier” refers to recently settled

areas of the country where there are not yet cities. “Gibberish” is a good

word to describe other words that are nonsensical or have no meaning.

Our fathers came across the prairie, fought Indians,

fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix.

The “prairie” refers to open and flat land with no cities.

“Drought” is a long period of dry weather when there is no rain,

and locusts are insects that attack food crops in flying groups (swarms)

that number millions at a time. Here, “Dix” is just a proper name.

Если бы...

We didn’t give up then, and by gum, were not going to give up now.

“To give up” is a critical phrasal verb meaning to surrender, or stop

trying. “By gum” is ridiculous and never used, though you might

say “by god,” which is another possible way of saying “damn it.”

I’m not giving up my ice cream parlor that

I built with these two hands for nothing or nobody.

A local store for selling something in particular, like ice cream or pizza.

Why don’t we wire the governor to send us a sheriff?

“To wire” is the verb to use when you send a telegram.

Will the congregation please rise?

A “congregation” is a group of people who attend the same church.

I shall read from the book of Matthew, Mark, Luke and…….duck!

The first three names are major figures in the Christian bible, but “duck!”

is a way of telling someone to get down and hide on the floor.

7

Hedley convinces the Governor to send a black sheriff to Rock Ridge.

What the hell is it?

A common addition to wh questions in order

to show emotions such as anger or surprise.

Under the provisions of this bill, we would snatch 200,000 acres of Indian

territory, which we have deemed unsafe for their use at this time.

“Provisions” are legal conditions or details, and a “bill” is an important

word for a proposed law. “To snatch” is to steal or take quickly from

someone, and “deemed” is an official word for thought or decided.

They’ll never go for it!

This is a colloquial way of saying to believe it.

The little red devils, they love toys.

A ridiculous way of referring to Native American Indians.

These things are defective.

A useful word which means broken, faulty or not functioning well.

This is the bill that will convert the state hospital for the insane into

the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino for the insane.

To “convert” an object is to change it from one thing into another.

“Insane” means crazy, and a “casino” is a building where people gamble,

usually with games involving cards, such as poker.

This is 1874; You’ll be able to sue her.

“To sue” a person is to file a legal claim against them in a court of law,

usually for money. Suing people is a popular American hobby.

This urgent telegram from Rockridge.

“Urgent” means very important, and requiring immediate attention.

“Sheriff murdered. Church meeting bombed. Reign of terror must cease.”

A “reign of terror” is a period of great fear, often caused by the

murderous actions of a government. “To cease” something is to stop it.

Holy underwear! Innocent women and children blown to bits!

“Holy” means godly or sacred, but the expression “holy underwear” is

both ridiculous and never used (although “holy shit” is used). If a

person is “blown to bits,” their bodies are torn into lots of little pieces.

We’ve got to protect our phony-baloney jobs.

“Phony” means fake or not real, and “baloney” is a type of

processed meat. A silly and rare adjectival expression.

“hurumph”

A silly word used in this movie for expressing anger or other emotion.

You better watch your ass!

One way to say that you should be careful.

Gentlemen, please, rest your sphincters.

“Sphincters” are the muscles in a person’s butt or ass.

A totally ridiculous way to tell a person to relax.

Well put!

A good way of telling someone that what

they just said was well expressed.

As Attorney General, I can assure you that a suitable sheriff

will be found to restore the peace in Rock Ridge.

An “Attorney General” is the highest law enforcement official

in the Federal or State government. “Suitable” is another word for

appropriate, proper or correct. “To restore” something is to bring

it back to its past condition (because it was better in the past).

Meeting is adjourned.

A very official way of saying finished, or completed.

I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to overstep my bounds.

“To overstep one’s bounds” is to act in a manner that is too

presumptuous or arrogant (Bounds is another word for borders).

9

Why don’t you give these out to some of the boys in lieu of pay?

“In lieu of” is another way of saying instead of.

This frigging thing is warped.

“Frigging” is a gentler adjective than fucking, for those who do not want

to be so vulgar. “Warped” means bent or twisted out of shape.

Law and order is the last thing I want.

A set expression that means peace and social stability.

A sheriff that so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that

his very appearance would drive them out of town.

To “drive a person out of town” is to force them to leave.

Welcome to Hanging House; Not to worry---everyone is equal in my eyes.

A grammatically curious ancient expression that simply means “Don’t worry.”

Is it important? :: It’s very crucial.

A useful word that means extremely important or critical.

I’d be delighted.

A good word for very happy or perhaps enthusiastic.

Have you gone berserk?! Can’t you see that man is a nig….?

“To go berserk” is to become crazy or insane.

No offense intended.

What you would say to a person if you’re afraid you insulted them.

Haven’t you taken a giant leap away from your good senses?

A “leap” is big jump, and “good senses” refers

to common sense or good judgement.

Please, don’t fly off the handle, Sir.

If somebody “flies off the handle,” they became explosively angry.

A cabinet post.

A reference to the top offices that assist the President of the United States,

including Secretary of State and Secretary of Defense.

Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln.

Three of the most important Presidents in US history.

Sir, you have the seeds of greatness in you. Nurse them, caress them…

“To nurse” something is to help bring it back to good health.

“To caress” something is to pet or stroke it gently, or lovingly.

Don’t shortchange yourself!

In this context, a way of saying “Don’t underestimate what you can do.”

One day is all we’ll need to secure your

name in the annals of Western history!

An official text of recorded history.

It could lead to a nomination, for, dare I say?….

A “nomination” is the official endorsement of a party to

run for elected office. “Dare I say…?” is a poetic way of asking

yourself if you have the courage to say something.

Hail to the Chief!

This is the name of the song that bands play when

the President of the United States arrives at an event.

Four score and seven years ago….

The first words of a famous speech by Lincoln. A “score” is 20 years.

Gentlemen, affairs of state must take precedent over….affairs of state.

A cute play on words; “Affairs of state” refers to government business,

though here it also means the sexual affairs of a person within the

government. “To take precedent over” is to be more important than.

I will make all the arrangements, especially the funeral.

One way of saying to take care of all the organizational details.

9

Bart arrives in Rock Ridge to a less than enthusiastic

welcome, and soon meets the legendary Waco Kid.

The sheriff will be here at noon! I better rehearse my speech.

“To rehearse” a speech or acting role is to practice it.

As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my

privilege to extend to you a laurel…and a hardy handshake.

A “laurel” is a tiny tree that is given to people as a gift or honor, while

“hardy” means strong or vigorous. But note the play on words; Laurel

and Hardy were a famous comedy team from the early days of film.

Strike up the band!

A way of telling a band to begin to play music.

Excuse me while I whip this out!

“To whip out” something is a dramatic way of simply saying

to take it out, as in the act of taking a wallet out of your pocket.

By the power vested in me…….I hearby assume the duties

of the office of the sheriff of the township of Rock Ridge.

Power that is “vested” in a person is officially granted to them.

“Hearby” is an official way of saying therefore.

As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay

heed to this good book and what it has to say.

“To implore” a person is to beg them or ask them passionately.

“To heed” advice is to obey and accept it.

Son, you’re on your own.

One way of saying “There is nothing I can do for you.”

Hold it men, he’s not bluffing.

“Hold it” is a common way of saying stop it. “To bluff” is to pretend that

you are going to do something when you really do not intend to.

Hush, Harriet! That’s a sure way to get him killed.

“Hush!” is a way of telling a person to be quiet.

I said “order!” :: Nietzsche says “out of chaos, comes order.”

When yelled at a meeting, “order” is a way of saying everyone should be

quiet. Nietzsche was a famous German philosopher, and “chaos” is

the state of extreme confusion and disorder.

Blow it out your ass, Howard!

An extremely vulgar insult, which basically means

shut up or fuck you, depending on the context.

Listen to our esteemed school mom, as she reads a

telegram that she herself has composed to the governor.

“Esteemed” is an official word for very well respected.

“To compose” a letter is another way of saying to write it.

We, the white God-fearing citizens of Rock Ridge….

For some reason, racist Americans often say that they’re afraid of God.

The fact that you have sent him just goes to prove

that you are the leading asshole in the state.

One of the great vulgar insult words, meaning jerk, idiot, creep, etc…

11

Are we awake? : We’re not sure; Are we black?

Note the use of “the royal we,” which

some people use to show a light attitude.

Then we’re awake, but were very puzzled.

Another way to say confused or perplexed.

What do you like to do? :: Play chess, screw.

A classic colloquial verb meaning to have sex.

Checkmate.

The word that a player says after he captures the king in chess.

You devious son of a bitch.

“Devious” means slightly dishonest, or crafty. “Son of a bitch” is a

very common and vulgar term for a mean or abusive man.

Well, if you must pry…..

“To pry” into the affairs of others is to

try and learn about their personal life.

The Waco Kid; He had the fastest hands in the West.

A way that people in the old West referred to those

who could shoot guns with great speed and accuracy.

Steady as a rock.

An expression that means stable, or in this case, without shaking.

You were just pulling my lariat.

A “lariat” is a lasso, or rope for controlling animals, but this word is never

used. “To pull someone’s legs” means to tease, or lie to them.

When I say “go,” you try to grab it first.

A useful verb meaning to take quickly and forcefully.

Well raise my rent; You are the kid.

In this case, “raise my rent” is Bart’s ridiculous

way of saying “that truly is amazing.”

It got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could

shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco kid.

“Piss-ant” is an interesting adjective meaning unimportant or small.

A “punk” is a bully or aggressive young person, and in this context,

to “try out” the kid is to test him, to see if he’s really so fast with a gun.

Cecile B. Demille.

A famous movie producer and director in the years after World War 2.

It got pretty gritty; I started to hear the word draw in my sleep.

“Gritty” means filled with tiny coarse stones, though here it is used to

mean unpleasant. “To draw” a gun is to reach for it and shoot it.

I spun around.

Note the past tense of spin, meaning to turn around in a circle.

The little bastard shot me in the ass!

“Bastard” is a very common and vulgar word for a mean or abusive man.

Your “ ass,” is, of course, your butt, rear end, derriere, etc…

So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a

whiskey bottle, and I’ve been there ever since.

“To limp” is to walk unevenly or with great difficulty, a “saloon” is a

bar, and “to crawl” is to move on your hands and knees, like a baby. This

is Jim’s explanation for how he started to drink so much liquor.

What’s a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic settling like this?

A “dazzling urbanite” is a charismatic or fascinating city person, and a

“rustic setting” is a country environment away from the big city. Note

that a great cliché is “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

My folks and I were part of the long wagon train heading west.

“Folks” is an old word that is still used to mean both parents and people.

A “wagon train” was a series of horse-pulled wagons or

vehicles that brought settlers from the Eastern states into the West.

We were bringing up the rear.

“To bring up the rear” is to be the last car or wagon in a line.

Suddenly, out of the West came the entire Sioux nation.

The “Sioux” were a powerful and well known Native American tribe.

Shvartzes.

This is an old Jewish (Yiddish) word that means black.

12

Taggert sends Mongo to destroy the town, but Bart successfully fight back.

Impressed? Always like to keep my audience riveted.

To “rivet” an audience is to keep them fascinated or mesmerized.

.....

В телевизионной версии арии задниц были заменены лошадиным ржанием.

Mongo?! Holy shit, that’s too cruel!

“Holy shit” is a truly interesting way to express

strong emotion such as surprise or amazement.

I’ll be danged; that is a unique idea.

“I’ll be danged” is an old and silly way to express surprise or interest.

“Unique” is an important word meaning one of a kind.

How would you like to mutilate that new sheriff?

“To mutilate” a person is a violent verb meaning to tear away

parts of their body, such as their arms or legs.

It was addressed to the deputy spade.

The “deputy sheriff” is the police officer just under the sheriff.

A “spade” is both one of the four symbols used in playing cards

and an old and no longer used racial insult for black people.

Once I establish myself in this hear town, deputy

spade might turn out to be a groovy position.

“To turn out” is an important phrasal verb meaning to become, end up or

conclude (as in a story or movie). “Groovy” is dated slang word from the

1960s meaning good, excellent or more colloquially, cool.

You can’t win these people over no matter what you do.

“To win over” a person is to get them to like you,

or perhaps to convince them of your point of view.

I’m glad those fingers aren’t loaded.

“Glad” means satisfied or happy. Note that one

“loads” a gun with bullets (but not fingers).

Catch you later.

A colloquial way of saying “see you later.”

Up yours, nigger.

A vulgar and relatively uncommon way of saying “fuck you.”

These are people of the land, the common clay

of the new West. You know…morons.

One of Jim’s great lines; “The common clay of the new west” is his way of

referring to the common people settling the western frontier (Clay is a

type of material used to make pottery). A “moron” is a funny

insult to describe a stupid person which is similar to idiot or jerk.

Louis Pasteur has devised a new vaccine that

will obliterate anthrax once and for all.

“To devise” is to create or invent, and a “vaccine” is a medicine that

prevents disease. “To obliterate” is to destroy, and “anthrax” is a type

of disease that kills cows and other animals.

Hoof and mouth disease, a thing of the past.

Another animal disease ( a “hoof” is the foot of animals such as cows).

Never mind that shit, here comes Mongo!

A way of telling a person to forget or

not worry about what was just said.

He’s breaking up the whole town.

“To break up” something can mean to destroy it, though this is rare.

Candygram for Mongo. :: Mongo like candy.

A “candygram” is a gift of candy sent by messenger. Note the bad

grammar in the second sentence, which is one of the film’s great lines.

I thought Mongo would just mash him up into little bitsy sheriff meatballs.

“To mash up” something is to crush or ground it into tiny pieces.

“Little bitsy” is a child’s way of saying tiny or very small.

13

Lamar sends Lily Von Shtupp to seduce Bart,

but once again, Bart successfully fights back.

My mind is a raging torrent flooded with rivulets of thought,

cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

One of Lamar’s nonsense sentences, in this case meaning he has lots of

good ideas. A “raging torrent” is enormous amounts of falling water,

while a “rivulet” is a rare word for a tiny river or stream. “To cascade”

is to fall from one level to another, like water in a waterfall.

You use your tongue prettier than a $20 whore.

A “whore” is a crude word for a prostitute.

Another great but ridiculous line.

Shitkicker.

A never used insult word meaning asshole or jerk.

Elementary, cactus head.

In this context, “elementary” is a way of saying simple or easy.

A “cactus” is a common desert plant, but this expression is never used.

The beast has failed….it’s time to call in beauty.

A “beast” is a large and often dangerous animal, or a brutal

or cruel person. “To call in” a person is to invite them in.

She’ll turn him into jelly.

One way of saying she’ll make him weak and unlikely to fight back

(Jelly is a type of fruit topping that one puts on bread).

Froggie. Ribbet.

Children will call frogs “froggies,” and “ribbet” is the sound frogs make.

I hope this apple pie will thank you in some small way for

your ingenuity and courage in defeating that terrible Mongo.

“Ingenuity” is a good word for intelligence or clever thinking.

Thank you. Much obliged.

An old-fashioned but still used way of telling a person

you’re grateful or appreciative for what they have done.

I’m rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.

An “underground success” is a person who has become successful

despite the fact that the general public is not aware that this is the case.

Lili Von Shtupp: The Teutonic Titwillow.

“Teutonic” is an official word for German, and a “titwillow” is a nonsense

word (though tit is a crude slang term for female breasts

and a willow is a type of small tree).

I can’t find the words to express my joy at the rekindling of our association.

“To rekindle” a relationship is to start it up again,

or literally to get flames to rise from a dying fire.

Bullshit; What’s the job?

A vulgar but classic word to refer to nonsense, lies, half-truths, etc….

I love it when you talk dirty.

This is usually a reference to the language spoken by two people

having sex (“fuck me, baby”, etc… is often referred to as “pillow talk”).

Let’s get down to the brass tacks.

An old expression meaning to talk about the actual details of a plan.

I want you to seduce and abandon the sheriff of Rock Ridge.

“To seduce” a person is to sexually or romantically attract them.

“To abandon” a person is to leave them, especially if they need you.

Is Bismarck a herring? :: Oh Lily, you’re magnificent.

A “herring” is a type of small fish that is popular in German and

Jewish cuisine (and Bismarck is a famous brand of herring).

“Magnificent” is another way to say fabulous, great or excellent.

The gal you’ve all been waiting for, the Bavarian bombshell herself….

A “gal” is a girl or woman. A “Bavarian bombshell” is a slangy way of

describing a sexy woman from Bavaria, which is a part of Germany.

Let’s hear it for Lily Von Schtupp!17

This is a way of asking an audience to clap or applaud an entertainer.

It’s worth nothing that “schtupp” means to fuck in German.

Song: Stage door Johnnies always surround me, they always hound me…

“To hound” a person is to continually bother them.

Song: They’re always coming and going and

going and coming…and always too soon…

A good play on words; Remember that “to come” is a popular way of

saying to have an orgasm (though it’s often spelled to ‘cum’).

Are you in show business? :: Then why don’t

you get your frigging feet off the stage….

“Frigging” is a gentler alternative to the adjective fucking.

Is that a 10 gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?

A big and tall hat, and perhaps one that’s shaped like a penis!

Song: Give her a break! She’s bushed….don’t you know she’s pooped?

“To give somebody a break” is to give them an opportunity, or in this

case, just a chance to rest. “Bushed” and “pooped” are slang words that

mean extremely tire or exhausted.

Everything below the waist is kaput!

A German word for broken. Lily’s way of saying she is tired of sex.

Far out!

A 1960s expression which means good, great or more colloquially, cool.

Excuse me, while I slip into something a little more comfortable.

A classic line that women say when they want to put

on clothes that men would consider very sexy.

I feel refreshed.

“Refreshed” means clean, rested or renewed with energy.

He’s like wet sauerkraut in my hands.

A German food made of cabbage. Lily’s way of saying that she

can seduce Bart and do anything she wants with him.

Is it true what they say about how you people are gifted?

“Gifted” can mean very talented or skilled.

15 is my limit on schnitzenbruben.

A German word for a sausage or hot dog.

I’ve got some heavy chores to do.

A useful word for regular duties or tasks around the house,

like cleaning the clothes, cutting the grass, etc…

Will I say you later? :: It all depends on how

much Vitamin E I can get my hands on.

Note that in the 1970s, some men thought that

Vitamin E was a way to improve sexual performance.

You’re making a German spectacle of yourself.

A “spectacle” is a public display or show, and thus to

make a spectacle of yourself is to make a fool of yourself.

Oh dear, look what the cat dragged in.

A set expression that one will use when a member of the house comes

home drunk. “To drag” something is to pull it on the ground.

15

Hedley Lamar gathers every evil person in the West

in one last attempt to destroy the people of Rock Ridge.

I’ve got a writ here for Mango’s release,

and it’s signed by Hedley Lamar himself.

A “writ” is a legal document signed by a judge which orders people

to do various things, in this case ordering Bart to let Mongo out of jail.

Why would a dude like Hedley Lamar care about Mongo?

A slangy word for guy that has become increasingly popular.

Those schnitzengrubers can wipe you out.

“To wipe out” a person is to destroy them, or here, to exhaust them.

Sheriff first man ever whip Mongo.

In this case, “to whip” means to defeat. Note Mongo’s charming

grammar, including the dropping of the verb to be.

Better watch out big fella; I think Mango ‘s taken a little fancy to you.

“Fellow” (fella) is a British way of saying guy. “To take a fancy”

to someone is an old-fashioned way of saying to like them.

Mongo straight.

“Straight” is a colloquial term for heterosexual, or specifically, not gay.

Why is a high roller like Hedley Lamar interested in the railroad?

A slang term for a rich or powerful person, especially a gambler.

Got to do with where choo choo go.

A child’s word for a train (based on the sound a train makes).

Mongo only pawn in game of life.

A pawn is the weakest piece in chess, and often a weak and easily used

person. This is Mongo’s philosophical analysis of his own life.

I think this might be a good time to mosey out where

they’re building the railroad and maybe do a little snooping.

“To mosey out” is a fairly rare way of saying to go in a relaxed manner.

“To snoop” means to investigate, especially into the private affairs of

other people who would prefer that you wouldn’t.

19

You shifty nigger; They said you were hung!

“Shifty” is a slang word meaning tricky or dishonest.

Note that the past participle of the verb “to hang” is hung.

Look at that star! Civil Service!

The affectionate term for employment in a government job.

Holy mother of pearl; It’s the nigger that hit me over the head with a shovel.

A nonsensical expression to show great anger. Say “holy shit” instead.

Watch that “boy” shit, redneck. You’re talking to the sheriff of Rock Ridge.

“Boy” was a word that racist people used to use when addressing

black men. “Redneck” is an insult word that generally describes

an uneducated white person, often from a small town.

If that don’t beat all; We take the good time and trouble

to slaughter every last Indian in the West…

“If that don’t beat all” is another way for Taggert to express frustration.

“To slaughter” means to violently kill many people at the same time.

Would that pep you up some?

“Pep” is a good slang word for energy.

On the count of three.

What one says before counting one-two-three at the start of a race.

Don’t just sit there looking stupid, grasping your hands in pain.

“To grasp” something is to hold it tightly.

I’m through being Mr. Goodbar.

A silly reference to the 1970s novel “Looking for Mr. Goodbar.”

All of my plans have backfired.

When a plan “backfires,” it turns into the opposite of what was hoped.

People are staying in droves.

When people do something “in droves,” this means that huge numbers of

people are doing it. A set expression is to “leave in droves.”

20

Shut up, you Teutonic twat.

A rarely used silly insult word for a stupid person.

An army of the worst dregs ever to soil the face of the West.

“Dregs” are the worst people in a society, including its murderers

and thieves. “To soil” something is to make it dirty or corrupted.

I’ve decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes.

“Ashes” are the soft gray powder that remains after a fire.

I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west.

“To round up” a group of people is to bring them together in the same

place. “Vicious” is a powerful adjective meaning extremely cruel.

A “gunslinger” is an old word for a person who fights with guns.

Take this down.

One way to say “write what I am about say.”

I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs,

thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican

bandits, muggers, buggers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers,

train robbers, shit kickers and Methodists.

Perhaps the greatest list of bad people in the history of film! Among those

that you should know:

Rustlers…..People who steals cows

Cut throats…..People who are willing to do anything to win.

Bounty hunters….People who try to capture wanted criminals.

Mugs, pugs, thugs…..Aggressive and dangerous people.

Nitwits, halfwits, dimwits….Stupid people.

Vipers…..Snakes.

Con men….People who trick others in order to get their money.

Muggers…..People who physically attack others to get money.

Methodists.

A denomination (or division) in the Christian church.

Can’t you see that’s the last act of a desperate man? :: We don’t

care if it’s the first act of Henry the 5th---we’re leaving.

A clever play on words; Note that an “act” is both

an action and a separate part or chapter in a play.

Give me 24 hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save out town.

“To come up” with a plan is to create one, and “brilliant” is a

good adjective which means extremely intelligent or clever.

Qualifications? :: Rape, murder, arson and rape.

“Qualifications” for a job are the skills that one has which would

allow them to do a job. “Arson” is the act of setting fire to a building.

Take that badge.

A piece of metal worn to show a person’s job, level, etc,

Arson, armed robbery, mayhem.

“Armed robbery” refers to the act of stealing while using a weapon such

as a gun. “Mayhem” is a legal term which means the cruel attacking of a

person which leads to permanent injury.

Boy, is he strict.

An important word which describes any person who enforces

rules with extreme seriousness. Often used for teachers.

Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges.

If something “stinks,” it smells very bad. 

This is a famous line from the movie “Treasure of the Sierra Madre”

Stampeding cattle…through the Vatican. :: Kinky.

“To stampede cattle” is to make many cows run through an

an area. “The Vatican” is the place in Rome, Italy where the

Catholic Church is based. “Kinky” means sexually strange or odd.

How many times have I told you to wash up after weekly cross burnings?

“Cross burnings” were the setting on fire of Christian crosses, usually

done by the KKK, a horribly racist and violent group in US history.

And now for my next impression----Jesse Owens.

A famous black athlete who won four gold medals

in running during the 1936 Berlin Olympics.

We’ll head them off at the pass! :: I hate that cliché.

“To head a person off at the pass” is to meet up and attack them. A

“cliché” is an expression that is used so often that it becomes tiresome.

Bart organizes the great counterattack against Lamar’s army of evil.

I want you to get all the brothers together.

Black men will often refer to other black men as brothers.

Round up all the lumber, canvas, paint and nails you can lay your hands on.

“To round up” things is to bring them together. “Lumber” is wood,

“canvas” is a board for painting, and “nails” are the pointed pieces of

metal that are hammered into wood. To “lay one’s hands” on something

is to take or obtain it.

I know you’re a bit confused. :: You bet your ass!

In this context, a slangy way of saying “you’re damn right!”

22

I’m hip.

An old fashioned way of saying good, or more colloquially, cool.

Were going to build on this site…an exact replica of the town of Rock Ridge.

A close copy or imitation.

Every building….right down to the orange

roof of Howard Johnson’s outhouse.

“Right down to” is one way to say “including.” An “outhouse” is

a toilet in a small shack, usually found in the yards of poor people.

I get it!

A very common way of saying to understand.

They’ll think it’s the real Rock Ridge, but we’ll know it’s the fake Rock Ridge!

A “fake” of anything is an imitation of it. It is false or not real.

All they ask in return is a little plot of land

that they can call their own homestead.

A “ plot” of land is a piece of land, and a “homestead” is a

legal term for a piece of land that a person owns.

Ok, we’ll give some land to the niggers and

the chinks, but we don’t want the Irish!

A truly funny and ridiculous line that shows how many types

of racism have existed in the US. In some areas, the Irish were

as victimized by racism as the blacks and Chinese.

Ah prairie shit, everybody….

“Prairie shit” is an interesting variation of horseshit or bullshit.

Do we have the strength to carry out this mighty task in one night?….

“To carry out” something is simply to do it.

A “mighty task” is a big and difficult job or assignment.

…or are we just jerking off? :: Amen.

“To jerk off” is a classic phrasal verb meaning to masturbate.

“Amen” is the word with which Christians end their prayers.

Men, you’re about to embark on a great crusade,

to stamp out runaway decency in the West.

“To embark on a great crusade” is to begin a great mission or historic

quest or goal. “To stamp out” something is to kill it or crush it.

“Runaway decency” is a ridiculous expression that means

great amounts of goodness or morality.

Raise your right hand for the pledge.

A “pledge” is a legal or solemn promise to do something in the future.

23

Schmucks.

A funny insult word meaning jerk, idiot, ass, etc…

Now go do that voodoo that you do so well.

A religion which is known for it’s use of strange magic.

Everything is here down to the last hitching post.

A pole that was used to keep horses tied up.

You men start working on the dummies.

In this case, an object that is designed to look like a human being.

I’ve got an idea that will slow them down to a crawl.

The act of moving on your hands and knees, like a baby.

Thruway.

A freeway that cars must pay to be able to drive on.

Somebody has got to go back and get a shitload of dimes.

A “shitload” is a huge amount, and “dimes” are ten cent coins.

Look at this! They’re buying it!

“To buy it” is a colloquial way of saying to believe it.

Hold your ears folks; It’s show time.

A set expression meaning it is time for the real excitement to begin.

You think you could squeeze off a little shot from here.

In this case, to carefully aim and shoot a gun.

It’s a fake; we’ve been suckered in!

“To be suckered in” is to be fooled, or taken advantage of.

OK, let’s wipe them out!

“To wipe out” a person is to kill or destroy them.

The Great American West becomes…..something else.

24

Song: “Throw out your hands, stick out your tush,

hands on your hips, give them a push, voila!”

“Tush” is another word for ass, behind, derriere, etc.

“Voila” is a French word that can mean “there you go.”

All right, cut!

The verb that movie directors use when they want to stop filming.

You sissy Marys; You watch me, faggots!

“Sissy” is an insulting slang word for a homosexual or feminine man.

“Faggots” is a crude term for a male homosexual.

This is a closed set!

A movie “set” is a studio where a movie is actually shot, and if the set is

closed, this means that no one is allowed to watch the movie being made.

Piss on you, I’m working for Mel Brooks!

A silly alternative to fuck you. Mel Brooks is the director of this movie.

You vulgar shit! Why you miserable pansy!

A “vulgar shit” is a crude asshole or jerk. “Miserable” means extremely

unhappy, though when used with an insult, it just means horrible.

A “pansy” is a silly slang word for a male homosexual.

I’m parked over by the commissary.

A cafeteria where people who work for the same company can eat.

You brute, you brute, you vicious brute!

“Viscous” means very cruel, and a “brute” is a cruel or brutal person.

They lose me right after the bunker scene.

A reference to the fact that Hitler died in his bunker, which is an

underground space designed to protect people against bombs.

And now we’ll go to the special effects department.

“Special effects” are the scenes in movies that appear to be almost

magical due to the use of various forms of technology.

Are you kidding? :: Pain in the ass.

“To kid” is to lie or say something that you are not serious about.

A “pain in the ass” is a person who causes problems.

All right, we’ll settle it like men, with our fists.

“To settle” an argument is to determine who is right, or perhaps

more powerful. “Fists” are hands with fingers closed tightly,

often for fighting.

How did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet?

“Stunts” are dangerous acts of great skill, that are often filmed

for a movie (such as jumping from the top of a building).

Let’s check out the end of the flick.

“To check out” something is to see or look at it. A “flick” is a movie.

I’m needed wherever outlaws rule the west…

wherever people cry out for justice. :: Bullshit!

“Outlaws” are criminals. “Bullshit” is the classic

vulgar word used to describe nonsense, lies, etc.

To speak the plain truth is getting pretty darn dull around here.

“Darn” is another word for damn, and “dull” means boring.

Where are you headed, cowboy? :: Nowhere special.

To be “headed” someplace is to be going in that direction.

Блакаддэр...Похищенные...

В застенке.

Палач с вожделением показывает косу (которой он собирается в любом случае ампутировать Эдмонду то, что он ампутирует в любом случае- тот ли признает или не признает свою любовь к сатане), когда является принц Людвиг, дающий команду"Стоп!" и подтверждающий её ударом хлыста палачу. Палач, скуля, забивается в угол.

Принц Людвиг (Спускаясь по ступенькам, надменно): Простите меня, херр Чернопоклёпщик, я пренебрёг своими обязаностями хозяина. Примите мои извиньениа.

Эдмунд (Не менее надменно): Я ничего не приму от того, кто принимает своих гостей, засовывая их в ящики.

- ...(Не обращая внимание на ответ Эдмунда) Надеюсь, что этот грызун (Палач, скуля, пытается чуть ли не закопаться в стену) не побьеспокоил вас?

- ...Ну, это потребывало бы гораздо больше психической анормальности, чтобы побьеспокоить меня.

-...( По-прежнему игнорируя ответ Эдмунда) Хорошо, если он вас побьеспокоил, я намерен предложить вам его язык.

- ...Поверьте, сэр, если бы он меня побьеспокоил бы, у вас у самого не было бы языка, которым бы вы смогли произвести данное предложение.

- ...Уверяю вас, что если бы у меня не было бы языка, у вы бы тоже потеряли свой язык, которым вы мне говорите, что если бы я вас побьеспокоил, у меня бы не было бы языка, чтобы предложить вам предложенное.

Эдмунд (устав распутывать запутываемое ): Ладно достаточно, сосисочный выхлоп! Кто ты такой?

- А вы меня не помните, херр Чернопоклёпщик?

- Не имею удовольствия...

- ... (С энтузиазмом) О, наоборот- мы встречались не единожды, хотя вы меня знали под другими именами: вы не припоминаете чернокожего торговца и контрабандиста по имени Отто, с которым вы играли в дуврский калейдоскоп?

- ...Не может быть!

- ...(С злорадной гордостью) Да! Я был служанкой

- ...(В шоке) Ты! Толстая Салли?

- ...Да! (Женским фальцетом) Не хотите ещё кусочек торта?

- ...Но мы же потом отправились в постель?!

- ...Ради Родины я готов на любое!

- ...А я скорее стану паралитиком!

- ...(Усмехаясь) А вы итак им были!

- (Пытаясь замять) Ну хорошо, хорошо...

- ...(Женским фальцетом) Какое разочарование для девушки!...

- Ладно, шутка удалась...

- ...(Женским фальцетом) Ничего, милорд, не расстраивайтесь, сейчас минутку передохнём и у нас всё получится. Просто отбросьте эти сословные предрассудки ...

- ... (Взрываясь) О, я вижу вы просто гордитесь своим голоском, как средством преодоления своего комплекса неполноценности, вызванного вашим акцентом, да?

- ... (Ответно взрываясь) Молчать!

- ... (Не обращая внимания) Ну что там ещё в вашем выдающемся репертуаре? Блестяще надравшийся шотландец или шикарный негр- "Бывай, Джимми, мне нужно найти такие буфера..." И самое смешное, что всё это вытворяет пустоголовый немец, стоящий тут же передо мной.

- (Зловеще спокойно) Знаете, Чернопоклёпщик, вы болтаете слишком много... У меня впечатление, что у вас приступ словесного поноса. Может, мне следует вас уведомить, что я дал королеве неделю на доставку выкупа- иначе вы умрёте ....уфасно.

- (Не менее надменно) Королева- заплатит и тогда вы- умрёте... (передразнивая) уфасно-уфасно.

- Вы считаете это смешно?

- По крайней мере я пытаюсь поддержать свой престиж в глазах публики.

- Знаете, я думаю, что через неделю у вас будет несколько иное настроение

- По крайней мере у меня это будет через неделю, в отличие от нынешнего вашего настроения

- Будьте осмотрительны- оно может оказаться последним в вашей жизни. Охрана, привести его друга.

Стража вводит в камеру Мелчетта ( Ein, zwei, ein, zwei..!), подводит его к краю спуска на пол и швыряет его наземь с высоты трети человеческого роста.

Мелчетт ( В отчаянной панике) О нет!!!! (приземлившись, успокаивается)

Принц Людвиг (Надменно): Итак, лорд Мелчетт, мы вновь встретились.

Мелчетт ( Подобострастно) Боюсь, я не имел удовольстьвия...

- ...Не узнаёте?

- (Осмотрев принца) Не-эт...

- Позвольте освежить вашу память... Не припоминаете, когда вы были в Корнуэлле около монастыря, вы часто встречались с одним пастухом...

- ...Боже мой! Тимкинс?!

- (С злорадной гордостью)...Да ! Я! Был! Одной из его овец!

- ...Нет!

- ...Да!

- ...Флосси?!

- ...Да!

- ...А разве мы не...?!

- ....Бэ-е-е-е-е

- ...О боже мой!

- Но достаточно о приятных воспоминаниях! Я нашёл у вас в штанах один примечательный документ!

- О, я бы на вашем месте не обращал бы на него внимание...

- (Итак не обращая внимания на реплику Мелчетта, читает) Королева пишет, что она заплатит выкуп, но это будет "самый-наисамейший последний-распоследний, клянусь мамой, жру землю, падлой буду, век свободы не видать"... Перед ней трудный выбор, не так ли?

Эдмунд: Не совсем. Обидно, да, Мэлчетт? Тем не менее ... Особенно в момент, когда жизнь столь переоценена, я думаю.
Принц Людвиг (Надменно): Хорошо, господа. Надеюсь, вы меня извините- у меня ещё дел по самые горла: злобные заговоры сами собой не создаются (выходит зловеще смеясь... стража следует за ним столь же зловеще подхихикивая)

In the Prison

(T is holding his scythe, ready to have a go at Edmund. Prince Ludwig
enters, shouts `Stop!' and whips T down, who screams a bit and remains
cowering.)

L: Forgive me, Herr Blackadder. I have been neglecting my duties as a host.
Please accept my appoloaggies.

E: I accept nothing from a man who imprisons his guests in a commode.

L: I hope this scum (T burbles a bit) has not inconweenienced you.

E: It takes more than a maniac trying to cut off my goolies to inconweenience
*me*.

L: Good. If he had inconweenienced you, I was going to offer you his tongue.

E: Believe me, sir: if he had inconweeniened me, you would not have a tongue
with which to make such an offer.

L: Let me assure you, Herr Blackadder: if I no longer had a tongue with which
to make such an offer, you would no longer have a tongue with which to tell
me that, if I had inconweenienced you, I would no longer have a tongue with
which to offer you his tongue.

E: Yes, well, enough of this banter. Who the hell are you, sausage breath?

L: You do not remember me then, Herr Blackadder?

E: I don't believe I had the pleasure.

L: Oh, on the contrary. We have met many times, although you knew me by
another name. Do you recall a mysterious black marketeer and smuggler
called Otto with whom you used to dine and plot and play the biscuit game
at the Old Pizzle in Dover?

E: My God!

L: Yes! I was the waitress.

E: (shocked) I don't believe it! *You*? Big Sally?

L: (falsetto) `Will you have another piece of pie, My Lord?'

E: ...but I went to bed with you, didn't I?

L: For my country, I am willing to make any sacrifice.

E: Yes, but I'm not! I must have been paralytic!

L: Indeed you were, Mr. Floppy...

E: Yes, alright, alright (obscured by laughter). Now, would you mind--

L: (again falsetto) `Such a disappointment for a girl...'

E: Yes, alright, you've had your little joke.

L: `It really doesn't matter -- we'll try again in a few minutes. Have a look
through these naughty parchments.'

E: Oh, yes, we *are* proud of our comic serving-wench voice, aren't we? Just
because we can say `Zur' instead of `Sir', (??) sense at all social
gatherings the tedious little turd who keeps putting on amusing voices.

L: (angered, shouts) Be quiet!

E: What else have you got in your outstandingly inventive repertoire, I
wonder... Aaah, a brilliant drunk Glaswegian, no doubt. An hilarious
black man: `See you, Jimmy, where am dat watty-melon'. (obscured by
laughter) I can't wait for your side-splitting poof and that funny little
croaky one who isn't anyone in particular, but he's such a scream. And
most of all, I like the one you do all the time, that fatheaded German
chamberpot standing in front of me.

L: You know, you talk too much, Blackadder. I think it's a case of werbal
diarrhoea that you are having. I should, perhaps, tell you that I have
given the Queen only a week to reply to my ransom demand. Unless she
pays up, you die. Howwibly.

E: She will pay up. And then within a week, you die. Howwibly howwibly.

L: You find yourself amusing, Blackadder.

E: I try not to fly in the face of public opinion.

L: You know, I think, I think that a week from now, you'll be less in the
mood for being amusing.

E: At least when I *am* in the mood, I *can* be amusing.

L: Then choose your next witticism carefully, Herr Blackadder; it may be
your last. Guards, fetch his friend.

Gs: (enter with Melchett) Ein, zwei, ein, zwei...

M: (crying, expecting to be thrown into a very deep pit)
Oh no, please! (they throw him down) oooohhh! (he lands on the lower
level, about three feet below, and looks rather surprised)

L: Lord Melchett, we meet again.

M: No, I don't think we've had the pleasure...

L: You do not recognise me, then?

M: No...

L: Let me refresh your memory. You remember when you were in Cornwall; at the
monastery, there was an old shepherd with whom you used to talk.

M: Good Lord! Dimkins?

L: Yes! I was one of his sheep.

M: One of his sheep? Not...?

L: Yes!

M: Flossy?

L: Yes!

M: But didn't we...? (waves his hands in an exchanging fashion)

L: Yes, Lord Melchett! BBBAAAAA!

M: Oh my God!

L: But enough of such pleasant reminiscences, eh? The guard has found an
interesting document in your clothing.

M: Oh, I shouldn't pay much attention to that if I were you.

L: The Queen says that she will pay only one ransom, `But it must be the
last. Absolutely the last. Final. Full stop. Never again. Cross my
heart and hope to be spanked until my bottom goes purple.' She has a
difficult choice in front of her, has she not?

E: Not really. Bad luck, Melchers. Still... Life -- huh! -- overrated,
I reckon.

L: Yes, gentlemen. Well, if you excuse me, I have work to do. Evil plots
don't just make themselves you know. (exits laughing, the guards join
in)