- Ваше высокопреосвященство, к вам- Микеланджелло...
- Михайло...кто?
- (Тоном эскурсовода) Микеланджелло, знаменитый художник Ренессанса, известный такими своими творениями, как статуя Давида и фресками в храме Сикстинской Мадонны.
Michelangelo from Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl. Enjoy.
Gustaf Sjöbloms and Björn Wingmans Script:
Michelangelo
Renaissance Choir:
[Gregorian Chant]
Servant:
A Michelangelo to see you, your Holiness.
Pope:
Who?
Servant:
Michelangelo, the famous renaissance artist whose best known works include the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the celebrated statue of David.
Pope:
Ah. Very well...
Servant:
In 1514 he returned to Florence and de...
Pope:
All right, that's enough, that's enough, they've got it now!
Servant:
Oh.
Michelangelo:
Good evening, your Holiness.
Pope:
Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, "The Last Supper."
Michelangelo:
Oh, yeah?
Pope:
I'm not happy about it.
Michelangelo:
Oh, dear. It took me hours.
Pope:
Not happy at all.
Michelangelo:
Is it the jello you don't like?
Pope:
No.
Michelangelo:
Ah, no, I know, they do have a bit of colour, don't they? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo?
Pope:
What kangaroo?
Michelangelo:
No problem, I'll paint him out.
Pope:
I never saw a kangaroo!
Michelangelo:
Uuh...he's right in the back. I'll paint him out! No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.
Pope:
Aah.
Michelangelo:
All right?
Pope:
That's the problem.
Michelangelo:
What is?
Pope:
The disciples.
Michelangelo:
Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
Pope:
No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them.
Michelangelo:
Oh, well, another one will never matter, I'll make the kangaroo into another one.
Pope:
No, that's not the point.
Michelangelo:
All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.
Pope:
That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples!
Michelangelo:
Too many?
Pope:
Well, of course it's too many!
Michelangelo:
Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last supper. You know, not just any old last supper. Not like a last meal or a final snack. But you
know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?
Pope:
There were only twelve disciples at the last supper.
Michelangelo:
Well, maybe some of the others came along afterw...
Pope:
There were only twelve altogether.
Michelangelo:
Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?
Pope:
Look! There were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.
Michelangelo:
No friends?
Pope:
No friends.
Michelangelo:
Waiters?
Pope:
No.
Michelangelo:
Cabaret?
Pope:
No!
Michelangelo:
You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could...
Pope:
Look! There were only twelve disciples at...
Michelangelo:
I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"!
Pope:
What?
Michelangelo:
Well there must have been one, if there was a last supper there must have been a one before that, so this, is the "Penultimate Supper"! The Bible doesn't say how
many people were there, does it?
Pope:
No, but...
Michelangelo:
Well there you are, then!
Pope:
Look! The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not! Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band. Now, a last
supper I commissioned from you, and a last supper I want! With twelve disciples and one Christ!
Michelangelo:
One?!
Pope:
Yes one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it?
Michelangelo:
It works, mate!
Pope:
Works?
Michelangelo:
Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones.
Pope:
There was only one Redeemer!
Michelangelo:
Ah, I know that, we all know that, what about a bit of artistic license?
Pope:
A one Messiah is what I want!
Michelangelo:
I'll tell you what you want, mate! You want a bloody photographer! That's you want. Not a bloody creative artist to crease you up...
Pope:
I'll tell you what I want! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!
Michelangelo:
Bloody fascist!
Pope
Look! I'm the bloody pope, I am! May not know much about art, but I know what I like!
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